Recently in Caption Competitions Category

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette

1st Place - SmokingGun

"Sure I had a little fun. I thought the police file was a classic. And the cedar beam trick no one caught onto. And the Russian guys? Old schoolmates. Wait till Ewart finds out who's bank account he's been putting all that money into."

2nd Place - Proteus:

Sir John melodic inner monologue:
"The house began to pitch, the kitchen took a slitch
It landed on the wicked witch in the middle of a ditch
Which was not a healthy situation for the wicked witch
Who began to twitch, and was reduced to just a stitch
Of what was once the wicked witch"

3rd Place - Bermuda Rasta: Even in retirement, Snidely Whiplash enjoys watching train wrecks.

Honourable Mention

- Blankman: They're laughing now but wait till they meet my replacement.

- Ali: The Guv shows his delight as he prepares to meet Phil Perinchief for a final farewell.

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This week's competition is for the departed:

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette

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Photo courtesy of The Bermuda Sun

1st Place - Fast Eddy: Today in The Situation Room, Big Bad Wolf Blitzer revealed the historic reconciliation between Goldilocks and Baby Bear.

2nd Place - Lewis Padgett: This shot, taken moments after Paula had just asked Hilary, if that was the infamous "Blue Dress".

3rd Place - Proteus: Visibly dis-pleased and barely able to crack a smile, Coxy didn't have the heart to tell Hilary that when she was talking about HRC, she didn't mean Hilary Rodham Clinton.

Honourable Mentions:

Bermuda Rasta: "What?! This isn't Emmanuel Lewis?"

Gombey House: HRC: "Welcome to Washington, my my we've never seen so many Bahamians here before!"

Dishonourable Mention:

Blankman for too many fat jokes!

Hillary Clinton brings out the best...and worst... in you. I spent this evening cleaning up a few of the comments. I chuckled all weekend at Bermuda Rasta's Emmanuel Lewis crack though.

See you next week. Feel free to send on suggested photos.

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I'm low on time today, but on special request this week's caption contest is dedicated to Cox's Hill:

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Photo courtesy of The Bermuda Sun

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette (Friday Sept. 21st 2007 edition).

1st Place - Bermuda Rasta: Bermuda's ongoing homage to the United States became badly derailed today by this questionable rendition of the U.S. flag. A PLP spokesman explained that the design was pursuant to the party's non-white policy.

2nd Place - eh: Brown invites the media to an open house.

3rd Place - Gombey House: Ewart called the new programme "Windows for Transparency in Governance".

Honourable Mentions:

Fast Eddy: The newly installed prophylactic was no match for the Twin Towers of Testicular Fortitude.

Blankman: To counter recent accusations that Bermuda is rapidly becoming a Banana Republic without the Bananas and without the Republic, Government arranges for an emergency shipment of Bananas to be kept under wraps until the time is right.

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This week's caption competition could be bugged.

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette (Friday Sept. 21st 2007 edition).

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Caption Competition winners:

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette

1st Place - Bermuda Rasta: At the press conference, a reporter asks if Mincy's study will include ferry pilots.

2nd Place - Blankman: You say Tiger decided not to come because Johnny didn't want to play golf?

3rd Place - Bermuda Rasta: In a flash of horrible misjudgement, Ewart notices Wanda wearing his "qlq" t-shirt

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This week's caption competition is startling:

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette

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Caption Competition winners:

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1st Place - Darkside: Alas, this was the postcard that pushed Ewart over the edge

2nd Place - Smoking Gun: Dunkley tries his hand at milking a Tiger.

3rd Place - The Milkman (aka Dunkley) : The Milkman would deliver.........


Most likely to cause me some grief - Proteus: 'Chocolate Milk'

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I need a laugh, in fact that's all I've been after all week since restarting posting, and I'm sure this week's caption competition will assist:

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Photo courtesty of The Mid Ocean News

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Apologies for having to close the comments down early again this week, and just when momentum was building for some really good entries.

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My favourites were:

1st Place - The General: "Jeremiah group receives approval for SDO on the ground between protestors at the candlight vigil"

2nd Place (and eerily prescient of the comment spamming) - Bermuda Rasta: Reminiscent of the "Free Mandela" movement, throngs of "PLP for Christian" members pray for Mr. Dunleavy's deliverance from incarceration over the censorship laws of Chairman Brown. Meanwhile, in the rapidly fading background, Vance Chapman shouts at the disinterested crowd.

3rd Place (and most effort) - Proteus:

Twas the night before Ground Breaking when all across Southlands,
Many folk were stiring with candles in their hands.

The contruction plans were drawn up by Jumeriah with care,
In the hopes that good ole' Uncle Ewart would make sure all was unimpaired.

The sellers were happily thinking there had been no crime,
Whilst visions of dollar-signs danced around in their minds

Grumpy Burch in his old uniform and Uncle Ewart in his white suit,
Had just settled down to count all their loot,

When over in Southlands there rose such a clatter,
Uncle and Grumpy jumped from their seats to see what was the matter.

The candlelight down in the fields gave off a lovely glow,
Illuminating what would be such a frightening show,

And what appeared at the crest of the hill shrouded in screams?,
But Aunt Neletha, Cousin Zane and several shiny diggin machines!

On Caterpillar, on Michigan, on Detroit-Allison, on John Deere,
On Bobcat, on Daewoo, on Fujitsu,

We got land to clear!

Honourable mentions -

Bermuda Rasta: Awaiting his return flight from the Privy Council hearing on BHC, UBP supporters line up for the opportunity to light Saul Froomkins' cigar.

Bermuda Rasta: Celebrating the Curtis McLeod appeal, the DeSilva clan set fire to their BIU cards.

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This week's caption competition is early due to the holiday.

Due to last week's problem with comment abuse, I will be watching closely and closing them down overnight and if I'm away from my PC for an extended time.

Winners, and I know you all questioned my judgment last week, will be announced Thursday night.

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The winners of this week's caption competition are:

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette

1st Place - Bermuda Rasta: In a rare display of political cunning, the UBP unveils its secret weapon.

2nd Place - Geoffrey Faiella: "Now, if you bring your nose out from the paper and cross your eyes a bit, you should be able to make out the shape of a fish. I think this one's a red herring."

-At the Magic Eye Conference

3rd Place - Bermuda Rasta: Yes, that's correct - I'm counting my prayer on Thaao's show as an "event"

Honourable Mentions

- Gumby House: Dr Brown proudly announced his proposed replacement for the post of Auditor General.

- Blankman: How did I spend $27,000 on lunches? Well, when he told me to "settle some scores" I thought he said "Go to Scores", and the rest is history.

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This week's caption competition is for the true believers.

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette

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This week's caption competition winners (belatedly posted which hit the entries somewhat I think) are:

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1st Place - Smoking Gun: When Mary was told she would be taped for the 7 oclock news this isn't exactly what she had in mind.

2nd Place - Darkside: Protesters pictured shortly before Mr. Hunt's bike fully "wound out".

3rd Place - ubu: And here a photo of the 2 police detectives, recently absconded from the Kent Service, who discovered the 'stolen' BHC files buried on the Southlands property. Nelson has just fled the scene on his scooter.

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This week's caption competition is nothing short of criminal.

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Image courtesy of BEST.

PS Sign the petition

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This week's Caption Contest winners are as follows:

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1st Place - Fast Eddy: Charles, being a hands-on bloke, had to check for himself if they were hollow point or standard issue.

2nd Place - Smoking Gun: "Permission to come aboard?"

3rd Place - Fast Eddy: Hey Prince Charmin', don't squeeze the Charmin.

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This week's caption competition is a handy one.

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WENN

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette.

Very entertaining entries this week, some rather close to the wind, even for me - as well as a record number from Smoking Gun (do you have a life?).

The winners are:

1st Place - Adjustah: "No, no stolen documents here...you guys are sure we're looking for a mole, right?"

2nd Place - SmokingGun: "The PLP discovered an inconvenient truth about Bermuda. Limestone is white."

3rd Place - SmokingGun: "Premier Brown prepares to take Bermuda to the next level."

Honourable mentions -

Proteus: "The Bermuda Sun wants to know: 'So how do you get your news?'."

Darkside: "BREAKING NEWS: "Son of the Soil" discovered near Verdmont!"

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This week's competition is "Diggin' It":

Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette.

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And the winners are:

1st Place - Lewis Padgett: Always prepared, the Government has purchased the old C & W dish, that in the event the Privy Council appeal should fail, they stand ready to take their case to the Galactic Federation of Planets.

2nd Place - Loki: Not content to selectively publish posts on its own website, progressiveminds.bm tests out new system to eradicate all dissent from the internet.

3rd Place - Reality: Glenn considers drastic measures to recall his yahoo mail...

Honourable Mention - Ex Parte for most creative use of C&W CEO Eddie Saints' name: Catholic Church embraces new technology, new Saints beatified.

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This week's caption competition is taken from the press conference announcing the dismantling of the Cable and Wireless satellite dish. (Special alternative title for those who need a racial reference in everything of "White Noise".)

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Photo courtesy of The Bermuda Sun

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And the winners are:

1st Place - Smoking Gun: "The official press release photo shows that Ms. Rice, fearing for her safety, managed to remove her watch and place it in her pocket before shaking hands with the Premier of Bermuda."

2nd Place - Rummy: "Having eaten at the Plantation Club on Harrington Sound Road many years ago, Condi just smiled as Ewart refused to answer questions about the service."

3rd Place - Smoking Gun: "Too funny... so you thought Slayton was hooking you up with a "condo" in DC? What's going to be even funnier is the look on your wife's face when she gets to see what the "condo" looks like."

Double special super-duper extra-honourable mention goes to the PLP for their long-form satirical entry called "Beware Media Trials".

I'm taking photos for next week. I have one in reserve but any suggestions are welcome.

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I haven't got around to sorting through the captions yet for the caption competition, but I'm inclined to anoint the PLP the victor for this statement on their website in the latest of their ridiculous misdirections:

"And, they're even resorting to subtle racism. (No, labeling a picture of two black people "Brown Rice" is not acceptable.)"
Wow. That racism is so subtle it doesn't even exist.

So let me break this down for the humourly impaired (aka those desperate to use racism as a redirection tool for an apparent lack of ethics):

There's this guy who's the Premier of Bermuda, and this gal who's the US Secretary of State. Now, you see, one has a last name of Brown and the other is called Rice. And last week they got together for a grip and grin in DC.

With language being what it is, when you put those last names together you got a two word catchy headline and a play on the food, you know the starchy product? If their names weren't Dr. Brown and Dr. Rice it wouldn't have worked, would it? You know, it's a little wordplay....and I prefer brown rice because it has less carbs...it's mildly amusing because...oh forget about it. This is pointless.

It's all so obvious really isn't it. It's absolute and utter desperation. The pitch seems to be: well we may be unethical (3 weeks and counting with no denial) but those who challenge us on it must be racist.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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I'm going to be making a few changes to the site over the next couple of weeks, nothing major but some tweaks.

One suggestion that I hadn't really considered but is very easy to do is to take over the onerous task of running the Friday caption competitions, so loved by Limey in Bermuda fans.

So that means that I'll turn on comments (see end of post) for those posts and then on Sunday night judge them with some input from a few of my trusted email humourists.

So without further ado here is this week's inaugural Politics.bm Caption Competition, entitled "Brown Rice".

Have at it.

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Photo courtesy of The Royal Gazette

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